The Shift from Teammate to Leader
A framework for first-time managers stepping into leadership over their former peers.
“Every 1:1 feels weird. I’m not sure if I should act like their manager or their teammate. I just want to do this right.”
That came from a first-time manager I’m currently coaching at a Fortune 500 company.
They were recently promoted into a leadership role on the same team they’ve been part of for years. It’s the kind of growth opportunity most people want. But when it happens, it can feel incredibly disorienting.
Suddenly, everything changes.
Conversations feel a little more formal.
Your wins are quieter.
The relationships you used to lean on for camaraderie now require structure, clarity, and direction.
It’s a common transition, but no one really prepares you for it.
I remember going through the same thing when I was promoted into a team lead role at Twilio. My manager at the time began pulling me into more and more of the work happening behind the scenes. Headcount planning. Hiring decisions. Leadership meetings. She was one of the best managers I’ve ever worked with, and I’m still grateful for how much she showed me.
And even with all of that support, it was hard.
I felt unsure of myself. Questioned whether I was ready. Worried I wouldn’t live up to what the team needed.
The hardest part wasn’t learning new skills. It was letting go of my identity as an IC and stepping fully into the role of a leader. One where your success is no longer about how well you perform, but about how well you help others perform.
Here’s the framework I share with new managers navigating this shift.
1. Acknowledge the Shift Directly and Early
Don’t wait for things to settle. They won’t. And your team can feel the difference the moment your title changes.
Trying to pretend like nothing has changed usually leads to awkwardness and confusion. People aren’t sure what to expect from you. And you end up tiptoeing around conversations that need clarity.
Instead, be direct.
You might say something like:
“This is a new role for me, and I know it may feel like a big shift for you too. My focus now is to support this team in a different way. I’ll be helping us set priorities, unblock challenges, and create more space for everyone to grow and succeed.”
When you provide that clarity upfront, it removes a lot of the unspoken tension and helps set the tone. The goal isn’t to distance yourself from your team. It’s to realign the relationship with trust and transparency.
Leaders lead by stepping forward, not shrinking back.
2. Be a Curator, Not Just a Coach
Leadership is not just about giving feedback or reviewing projects. One of the most impactful things you can do as a new manager is to open up your team’s perspective.
Too often, first-time managers feel like they have to be the fountain of all knowledge. That’s not the job.
A better approach is to be a curator and force multiplier. Introduce your team to ideas, strategies, and ways of working that extend beyond your own experience.
Recommend a podcast episode from a respected thought leader. A few that come to mind that I love:
Share a blog post on how another company handles onboarding or renewals or whatever is relevant for your team.
Invite the team to read a chapter from a book that influenced your own growth.
Start a small book club or rotating learning series, led by team members
Forward a helpful thread or resource and ask, “What do you think about this approach?”
It’s not about being the expert in everything. It’s about helping your team stay curious and engaged in the broader craft of customer success.
When you do this consistently, you stop being seen as the person with all the answers and start being seen as someone who is investing in their development.
3. Redefine Your Value
This one is hard, especially if you were a high-performing IC.
In your previous role, your value was obvious. You closed the deal. You solved the problem. You hit the number.
As a manager, your wins get quieter. Less measurable. And sometimes less satisfying in the short term.
Your job now is to create the conditions where others can perform at their best. That means:
Setting priorities and removing distractions
Coaching instead of fixing
Delegating even when you could do it faster yourself
Letting people struggle a bit before you step in
Protecting your team’s focus and energy
At first, it can feel like you’re doing less. But the work you’re doing now has a much wider ripple effect.
You're no longer measured by your output. You're measured by your team’s success and their ability to thrive without you in the middle of everything.
4. Be Curious About Their Path
Even though you were once peers, don’t assume you know what each person on your team wants next.
Now that you're leading them, you have an opportunity and a responsibility to support their growth. That starts with asking thoughtful questions.
What skills are you excited to develop this year?
Where do you see yourself in 12 to 18 months?
What kind of projects energize you?
What’s something you haven’t had the chance to try yet?
You’re not just managing tasks or overseeing deliverables. You’re investing in people. And the more curious you are about their journey, the more aligned your support will be.
This also builds trust. When people feel seen and heard, they’re more likely to show up with ownership, creativity, and confidence.
Final Thought
Becoming a manager is not just a new job. It’s a new identity.
Especially when you're leading people who used to be your peers, the lines can feel blurry. That’s normal. But don’t let discomfort keep you from stepping into your role with clarity and intention.
Your team likely wants you to succeed. They’re probably rooting for you more than you know.
Give them clarity. Be honest about the transition. Show that you're committed to supporting their growth.
And most importantly, let go of the need to be the star. Your job now is to help others shine and to quietly take pride in the fact that their success is a reflection of your leadership.